So I am still having trouble coping with our loss. I have lots of really good times and then other times I fall into this like, dark abyss, and I can't stop thinking about it and it makes me really sad. I am having trouble thinking about tomorrow. It was supposed to be the day that we got our good news, the day that we found out that we were pregnant. But not anymore.
I feel cheated. We didn't even get a chance, we weren't even able to give our babies a chance. It breaks my heart.
I still feel at odds with moving forward. But I can't imagine not moving forward either. So I told myself that if I don't hear from the RE's office by lunch tomorrow, I am going to call them and get this thing moving. We can at least get the blood tests going. And we are going to try our damndest this month to get pregnant on our own. I don't have a lot of faith that it will happen, but we can try, it's always fun to try.
Otherwise, nothing else much new. I went into the school district office on our anniversary, Thursday, and took their admin asst test. If I am selected for interviewing for this position, that will be on Friday, the 22nd. I am hoping that I get selected. I am also applying for two other jobs that they have up on their website. Cross your fingers for me. I need something positive to happen.
For our anniversary, A got me the new Rasc.all Fl.atts cd. It's pretty good. I got him a new video game and an accessory gun for the W.ii. We went for a hike yesterday and then out for dinner to celebrate. It was nice, we chatted a lot about school dances and other high school moments while we were out. Laughed a lot. I love him so very much, I am blessed to have been given this chance to make a life with him and I am loving every minute of it.
Anyway, just wanted to update and kinda vent a little. Be back soon...........
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