Men are from Mars.................

I think it's a men thing. They just don't understand the feelings and emotions that women experience.
I hate that I feel the need to write this, but it helps to get these things out of my system.
So yesterday and today have been a little difficult. Yesterday was my beta day, and as we all obviously know, that didn't happen. Today a friend of mine, after waiting about 36 hours for it, got her beta results back. It was negative. It breaks my heart that infertility IS. That it is experienced, that it causes pain, that it leaves the most giving, caring, wonderful women, empty.

Anyway, on to my real point. I LOVE my dad. More than anything. My parents mean the world to me and we are very close. They have and are extremely supportive of A and I as we go through this battle with IF. But sometimes I wish my dad wouldn't say the things he does.

I think it's hard because when I call them I expect sympathy, not frankness. I called my mom when I got home from work today. We talk about every other day. And I cried to her, told her that yesterday was difficult for me and that I was really sad about my friend and her results and how unfair infertility is. She understands me and my sometimes irrational emotions.
After we finished talking she asked if I wanted to say hi to my dad. I did and I cried to him a bit. And he told me that yes, things are hard, but you have to look at the positives and move forward. That people face difficult things everyday. Yes, they do, but people aren't his daughter, and people aren't the ones calling and crying to him because they are sad that they lost their 5 chances at a baby. He made me feel, and I am even sure in the rational part of my brain that he didn't mean it this way, that he probably just didn't know exactly what to say, that I should be over this and moving on and focusing on the future instead of dwelling on the sadness of the past.

I know in my head that this is what I should be doing. I am mad at myself for still being upset. I feel like I should be able to pick up and move on. That it's time. But........I can't yet. I keep wanting to call the RE, well actually I want them to call me like they said they would, ugh; but I can't. I get my phone out at lunch and hope that I have a missed call from them and say to myself if I don't, that I am going to call them and get this moving. And I don't have a missed call, and I don't call them. I am just treading water right now, not moving forward or back. Just waiting, but I don't know for what.