Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Vacation!!

Just wanted to check in really quickly before vacation. We leave tomorrow for an 8 day cruise to Mexico. We are taking the train down to San Diego and leaving from there Friday morning. We will have a bunch of days at sea and 3 stops - Ixtapa/Zihuatanejo, Manzanillo, and Acapulco. My parents are meeting us in SD tomorrow night too. Looks to be a great time. I am so beyond excited.

I will check in, update and hopefully post pics when we get back home. Eeeeeee! Mexico here we come!!

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Tired tired tired

So sick of this freaking cold. I think I am finally starting to get over it. I got it, what? Two weeks ago I think? It started out as a realy bad sore throat, started feeling better from that and then my sinuses started draining and I got all congested and coughing. It's been lovely. My voice is in and out, my head feels all full. Sigh.

Light at the end of the tunnel!! 4 more days til we see my parents, 5 til we cruise. *relieved sigh* Yippee I cannot wait. I get on FB everyday and write on each of their walls with a countdown. I know they are ready to get away from the cold. It's been crazy warm here this week. In the 80's everyday. So nice. Really prepping me for the cruise. Just imagine, turquoise blue water, balmy ocean breeze, sun. It will be so nice.

I am in the middle of my cycle. Hope blossoms, like always. The other night I had a friend over, went up to bed, dead tired, still drunk, woke up A asked him if he was up for it, did the deed, passed out. Kind of embarrassing, but pleasant at the same time. We will see if drunken canoodling does anything more than sober.

Waiting to find out if we are going out tonight - a friend has a friend in a band and I guess they are playing tonight - we might go watch. We will see.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

oh the weekend

So I spoke w/one of my friends online last night. He helped me to put things in a little bit more perspective. We were talking about kids and what A and I might have to do to get pregnant and he said that he understands that the cost is a big denominator in our decision on whether we go forward or not, but he said that no matter what he would do whatever he could for his baby. He would pay any amount of money and do whatever it took for her. I realize this, but its great to hear from him, a semi-new dad, talk about how much he loves this daughter that he has and how much she means to him. It made me sad 'cause I want that so badly. I cried while I was chatting w/him, but it was okay. He also told me that he knows I will be a great mom. That was nice to hear, I just hope I get a chance to do it.

I have had a sore throat for the last week, and now my sinuses are draining which is aggravating my throat. It's annoying. I need it to clear up in the next 1.5 weeks because ................. we are leaving for our cruise in................. 10 days!!!!!!!! I cannot wait to see my mom and dad. And I am getting excited about the cruise itself too. And the fact that I will have 11 days STRAIGHT off of work. Ahh bliss.

And I have been talking to my best friend recently. Her and her husband and talking about coming out here in April to visit. They want to go to two different theme parks. Fine by me, but we also talked about starting more treatment at the end of February, so hopefully HOPEFULLY I will be pregnant by April. I would go and hang out, but I would NOT do anything to harm a potential baby. Especially after we have been waiting so long. So there's that. We could still have a good visit. I am sure they would understand. Actually I am not sure, but I really don't care. This is about me and A and we have been at it for two years now. It is our time. It needs to be!

I am really tired, I think it's because I haven't been feeling good. I wanted to update though. I think I am either going to curl up w/a good book or watch one of our zillion movies tonight. That sounds good to me. Ya know what's missing? A nice fire to sit in front of. Oh well, I will snuggle one of my kitties. They are nice and warm. Speaking of warm I just need to share - it was 70 degrees today. On January 10th! Crazy! It's supposed to be closer to 80 tomorrow. Makes me remember what I like about California.

Later!

Friday, January 2, 2009

Another lovely post from me

So here we go again! I feel like I never really get on here to post about anything good. Except maybe our trip to Disney. I guess it's okay to use this as my venting place, everyone needs one. Anyway, somehow I was hopeful this month again. I actually felt ovualtion and I had hope. Until yesterday, because somehow I was able to overlook the brown spotting that I have had since the night of Christmas Eve. It began officially today. I told A last night before I went to bed that I wanted to get back on birth control. Obviously not to prevent conception, but to prevent hope. It drives me crazy each cycle. Already I am thinking, okay well this cycle is shot, but it's a a new one now, maybe THIS will be the one. How many times can you hit a person before they figure it out? Anyway, our cruise is in 19 days now. Not long. I get to see my mom and dad and cry to them. I looked at the website for our fertility clinic today to get some ideas of cost. Yay. I just want it to be easy. I cried and prayed last night, asking for help. I just feel hopeless right now. Maybe tomorrow will be better after I get some sleep. Maybe I will have better perspective. That will be the day.