IVF#1 Cancelled

So....yeah. I just don't even know what to say. I am beyond devestated.

I got the call from my nurse yesterday that we were on for 2:30pm today. We had to be there by 2. So we got up this morning, took all the necessary meds and got on the road around 8:50. Stopped, got breakfast and were headed down to the surgery center. About 15 minutes into our drive my phone rang. It was the RE's office. I called them right back and she said, J, I am really sorry to tell you this, but your Embryo Transfer (ET) is cancelled. I was like, What?!? She said, I am sorry, hon, your embryos stopped developing. The ET is cancelled. I said, Ok, in a really shaky voice and she asked if we were on our way already. I said, yeah. She said I am really sorry. Call me if you need to. The doctor will get in touch with you in about an hour (still hasn't and it's be about 4 now!! grr) and let you know what happened.

So that's where we are at right now. Our 5 embies died. It breaks my heart and scares me, because I don't know what is wrong or if it's fixable and we can try again.

I have cried a lot today. I am sure that won't change for a bit. But we will move forward, no matter what happens. We have each other.