So it's almost humorous how quickly one can move from emotion to emotion. TTC is definitely a rollercoaster of emotion. As I mentioned in my last post, I have had reason to hope that this month may be it (symptoms are present that I have never experienced before), but this morning I was hit with a bucket of cold water and the hope began to change to disappointment that again another month is passing us by. Yet, as the day went on the other symptoms are not disappearing, so hope returns. Maybe it is a fluke. It's crazy what your mind can do and tricks that it can play on you.
In regards to this also, I had a standing appt with my OBGYN, but I cancelled it because I started seeing the RE, but I am also putting off the testing that he wants done until I am sure that this month is out, because the testing he wants on me and my husband will be around $1000-$1200.
I was job searching this past night, and the night before, and the night before that, and I have applied to one job each night. I am crossing my fingers that someday I will find something that I will love, but at this point in time I just want something that I don't hate. I keep telling myself to go back to school and earlier this year I thought I had made a decision to go ahead and do it. I even started filling out the application at the local university, but somehow never got around to finishing it. It's not that I don't want to go back, because I honestly think I would enjoy it, but I don't know what to go back for.
I have a degree in English, and I really enjoyed it, I enjoy writing, and I LOVE to read. I just.... I don't feel like I am really using my degree now. I think about going back and getting a teaching certificate, but all I read about is how there aren't any teaching jobs and schools are having such hard times and cutting back so much. So I am overwhelmed and scared, because I don't want to waste my time with something that probably isn't going to pan out. (Optimistic, aren't I?)
Then I think about going back to get my Master's in English, which piques my interest more, but what am I going to do with that degree when I am not even using the one I have now?
Seems to me like a vicious circle.
I bought my husband a Wii for his thirtieth birthday. He really seems to like it. He has played it everyday since this past Satruday when we hooked it up. We went shopping on Sunday and he got himself two games to go along with it, with money that he had from family and friends. He got Mario Party and Zelda. He is trying out Zelda right now. We played MP on Sunday when we got home. It was pretty fun. I am not much of a "gamer", but I enjoyed parts of it.
Well, back to my book and watching Season 3 of Grey's Anatomy.
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