I always thought that when I got pregnant I would transition this blog from an everyday, follow my infertility journey to a joyful, follow my pregnancy journey.
Obviously I was wrong.
Someday I get the urge to write and chronicle every thought, every movement, every fear, every twinge, every symptom.
But I find that I can't.
I am so truly thankful to be here today (33w5d pregnant), but sometimes it still doesn't feel real.
I am big and uncomfortable, I feel our baby move daily, but I still think it won't be real until we hold our baby in our arms. And I still have so many fears that I don't even want to put into words, lest they become real.
We don't know what we are having and I am SO EXCITED to find out when the day comes. Our nursery is almost finished and my parents are almost on their way to visit/help us for a bit. Each day puts us closer and closer to the dream we have been dreaming for over 3 years.
I pray to God all the time that He protects our baby, that He grows he/she big and strong, and let's her/him stay inside, healthy and safe, until 40 weeks.
We are down to about 43 days now.
Life as we know it is definitely going to change.
Showing posts with label M and D. Show all posts
Showing posts with label M and D. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Updates......sad and painful
I haven't updated in awhile I know. Life has been hard to say the least. I want to go into pretty minute detail, so I am sorry this may get technical and medical, but I want to remember this time as best as I can, painful though it has been.
So we went into the RE on Monday the 19th, took one last set of stims and set trigger for Tuesday the 20th at 1:30 am (Technically Wednesday at 1:30am I guess) and ER for Thursday at 1:30pm.
We triggered, did the deed (as per doctors orders) and went to sleep. Worked Wednesday, went out to dinner with friends and headed to bed again. Got up early, headed down to retrieval. We got to the city early so we stopped at a local mall. We wandered around and went to the Dis.ney Sto.re. I got three Stiches (:D) and 2 t-shirts. We then we to the surgery center and waited to get called back.
A went back before me to drop off his swimmers and then I was taken back, got my IV started and got moved to the OR.
Next thing I know I wake up in intense pain. I mean, excruiating. I let them know and they give me phenton.al (sp??). Didn't touch it. Gave me another dose. Again, nothing. Spoke with doc and gave me De.moral in my IV and an injection in my shoulder for "extended" relief. Helps....for about 30 mins. I don't feel like they are understanding how much pain I am in. I am trying to explain and I think they think I am exaggerating. Time passes, another RE comes back (mine had left, without ever telling us how many eggs we got!!) and presses around on my belly. I groan and flinch. He tells me to relax. Um, I can't I haven't hurt this badly EVER.
They begin trying to get me moving, go to the bathroom, eat a cracker. It was not working well. Peeing hurt so badly, moving made me nauseous, it was horrible. The doctor sent A to a pharmacy across the parking lot for some Vi.codin. I took 2 extra strength Ty.lenol and then when he returned, one Vi.codin. No relief. They are beginning to understand I am not faking. I have been through this before and the first time was nothing like this. They call my RE, and call and call and call. Finally they get ahold of him and he says he will come back, as does the nurse anesthetist. They do an external and internal ultrasound and see what might be a burst cyst and fluid in my abdomen. The decision is made to head to the ER.
The first of multiple trips to ER's begin. We head over, A following our RE to a local hospital. We are checked in and the nurse takes out my IV and starts a new one. I get fluids and some Mor.phine. It makes me cry, it scares me because it makes me feel so funny, but it helps with the pain. I get two doses of that and then sent for another ultrasound. Ow.................pain like you cannot imagine. I use the bathroom again and get sent back to the ER while they await the results. Yes to the burst cyst and fluid. But the fluid looks like just fluid, no blood, so they are not worried. I then get a dose of Dilau.did and we are sent to a local hotel that A booked and set up an appt to see the RE in the morning. I slept sitting up that night because I couldn't breathe laying down and I had such intense pain in my abdomen and my shoulders.
The next morning my RE calls and says he doesn't really think he can do much for us and tells us to head home and recouperate at home. So away we go. Three hours back home. I was feeling bad, but not as bad as the night before. We stopped for lunch and I dosed myself with more Vic.odin. We get home, I get in bed and sleep. I woke up around dinner. A makes me a sandwich. The smell nauseates me. I try some crackers, can't do those either. Pain mounts and the nausea does not help. I am back where I was after retrieval. I asked A to kill me it hurt so bad. He calls my mom and the RE and both recommend the ER again. So he helps me get dressed and off we go. Got checked in, hooked up to the IV, receive fluids and Dialu.did. I get a dose of this, it helps, use the restroom for a urine analysis and go get a CT scan with contrast to check my abdomen.
After the CT I head back to my bed and get more pain and antinausea medicine. CT shows the same as the u/s. Fluid and burst cyst. Sent home with script for Perc.ocet and more antinausea meds.
Went right to bed, slept most of the day Saturday and Sunday. Sunday night feeling a bit better. I took a shower and ate some dinner. Still REALLY bloated and sore, but not feeling like I am dying. Told A I thought I might be getting better.
A went back to work on Monday and I woke up when he left. I was feeling very acidy in my throat and just icky. I tried some crackers so I could take my meds, but it wasn't working out very well. I took the Zo.fran and just kept feeling more and more ill. Talked to my mom who was worried and then A, telling him I thought I needed him to come home at lunch. My dad called and told me I really needed to call my RE and let him know how badly I was feeling again. I did and luckily he was in town, not down south for ER/ET's. He said to come to the office, so I called A and had him come get me. Sweetest guy, helped me so much. Shaved my underarms and applied new deoderant and helped me get dressed. While dressing I vomited and just felt worse and worse. I was crying it was so bad. We got in the car and drove the 30 min to the RE's office and they showed us right in. RE did an u/s and told us to go to the local ER (again!). Once there it took about 45 min to get checked in. I was miserable trying to sit in their wheelchair the whole time, but finally there is a bed and we are taken back. Another IV, more fluids, more Dil.audid.
We get another u/s and a consult from one of the general surgeons. He wants to do a lap to see exactly what is going on and to drain the fluid. My RE shows up and is against this (as an aside, I had said to A, why can't they just drain the fluid? multiple times w/out much of any kind of answer from anyone) and wants them to do a paracentesis to drain the fluid. He and the surgeon talk and decide to go that route.
The radiologist comes in, they use an u/s to look around my belly to find the best place and then clean and numb me up. In goes the needle and catheter. OW!!!! I felt embarassed because I yelled, but yowch it hurt! Out comes 500mL of bloody fluid. Nice. That is half a liter. HALF A LITER!! I get some more pain meds and we are admitted to the hospital, which saddened and brightened me all at once. I wanted to go home, who ever wants to be in the hospital, but I was so happy that they weren't just doping me up and sending me home.
I stayed in the hospital from Monday the 26th until Friday the 30th. The surgeon was super concerned because he wasn't sure exactly what was wrong with me. I had all that fluid, remnants of a ruptured cyst, extreme pain, hugely bloated belly and low electrolytes. They treated with super strong antibiotics, pain meds, and fluids. I couldn't eat all of Mon and part of Tuesday. Then I started with clear liquids (water, juice, broth) for 2 days, then full liquids (water, milk, juice, "cream of" soups, pudding, Ensure (yuk!!)) until Friday. I asked for real food and seriously, it was the best I had ever tasted. I was also released that day, so it was a really good day.
My mom also flew out here from MI on Wednesday to help A and be here for me. It has been wonderful to have her here. I can't begin to express how much it means to me. She is a true angel.
I have been feeling better everyday. Stronger and less sore. I am off work this week to recouperate more, per my surgeon. I went to see him Monday and have an u/s Friday to see how things are doing "down there". Hopefully it will all be back to normal soon. It's been a long hard road.
I have found since leaving the hospital that I most likely had OHSS (ovar.ian hyper.stimulation sy.ndrome). The severe form. It's a pretty scary thing and I am beyond upset that my RE didn't seem to know or want to admit that this is what was wrong with me. Google it, and then think of my protocol...high stims and Estra.ce 2x/day. No E2 checks.....hmmmm, seems likely.
Otherwise, in other sad news. We got 11 eggs. We did not do transfer. I was in no shape to drive six hours to do so. So we froze what made it to day 6. 1 embryo. I am heartbroken. We now have 15 babies in heaven. 15. I pray that God keeps them and protects them and their little frosty sibling. That's all I can do right now.
Other than that we are trying to heal mentally, emotionally and even spiritually. I have a lot of questions and a lot of anger that I need to work through, but hopefully we will begin to do so soon. If you are willing, please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.
So we went into the RE on Monday the 19th, took one last set of stims and set trigger for Tuesday the 20th at 1:30 am (Technically Wednesday at 1:30am I guess) and ER for Thursday at 1:30pm.
We triggered, did the deed (as per doctors orders) and went to sleep. Worked Wednesday, went out to dinner with friends and headed to bed again. Got up early, headed down to retrieval. We got to the city early so we stopped at a local mall. We wandered around and went to the Dis.ney Sto.re. I got three Stiches (:D) and 2 t-shirts. We then we to the surgery center and waited to get called back.
A went back before me to drop off his swimmers and then I was taken back, got my IV started and got moved to the OR.
Next thing I know I wake up in intense pain. I mean, excruiating. I let them know and they give me phenton.al (sp??). Didn't touch it. Gave me another dose. Again, nothing. Spoke with doc and gave me De.moral in my IV and an injection in my shoulder for "extended" relief. Helps....for about 30 mins. I don't feel like they are understanding how much pain I am in. I am trying to explain and I think they think I am exaggerating. Time passes, another RE comes back (mine had left, without ever telling us how many eggs we got!!) and presses around on my belly. I groan and flinch. He tells me to relax. Um, I can't I haven't hurt this badly EVER.
They begin trying to get me moving, go to the bathroom, eat a cracker. It was not working well. Peeing hurt so badly, moving made me nauseous, it was horrible. The doctor sent A to a pharmacy across the parking lot for some Vi.codin. I took 2 extra strength Ty.lenol and then when he returned, one Vi.codin. No relief. They are beginning to understand I am not faking. I have been through this before and the first time was nothing like this. They call my RE, and call and call and call. Finally they get ahold of him and he says he will come back, as does the nurse anesthetist. They do an external and internal ultrasound and see what might be a burst cyst and fluid in my abdomen. The decision is made to head to the ER.
The first of multiple trips to ER's begin. We head over, A following our RE to a local hospital. We are checked in and the nurse takes out my IV and starts a new one. I get fluids and some Mor.phine. It makes me cry, it scares me because it makes me feel so funny, but it helps with the pain. I get two doses of that and then sent for another ultrasound. Ow.................pain like you cannot imagine. I use the bathroom again and get sent back to the ER while they await the results. Yes to the burst cyst and fluid. But the fluid looks like just fluid, no blood, so they are not worried. I then get a dose of Dilau.did and we are sent to a local hotel that A booked and set up an appt to see the RE in the morning. I slept sitting up that night because I couldn't breathe laying down and I had such intense pain in my abdomen and my shoulders.
The next morning my RE calls and says he doesn't really think he can do much for us and tells us to head home and recouperate at home. So away we go. Three hours back home. I was feeling bad, but not as bad as the night before. We stopped for lunch and I dosed myself with more Vic.odin. We get home, I get in bed and sleep. I woke up around dinner. A makes me a sandwich. The smell nauseates me. I try some crackers, can't do those either. Pain mounts and the nausea does not help. I am back where I was after retrieval. I asked A to kill me it hurt so bad. He calls my mom and the RE and both recommend the ER again. So he helps me get dressed and off we go. Got checked in, hooked up to the IV, receive fluids and Dialu.did. I get a dose of this, it helps, use the restroom for a urine analysis and go get a CT scan with contrast to check my abdomen.
After the CT I head back to my bed and get more pain and antinausea medicine. CT shows the same as the u/s. Fluid and burst cyst. Sent home with script for Perc.ocet and more antinausea meds.
Went right to bed, slept most of the day Saturday and Sunday. Sunday night feeling a bit better. I took a shower and ate some dinner. Still REALLY bloated and sore, but not feeling like I am dying. Told A I thought I might be getting better.
A went back to work on Monday and I woke up when he left. I was feeling very acidy in my throat and just icky. I tried some crackers so I could take my meds, but it wasn't working out very well. I took the Zo.fran and just kept feeling more and more ill. Talked to my mom who was worried and then A, telling him I thought I needed him to come home at lunch. My dad called and told me I really needed to call my RE and let him know how badly I was feeling again. I did and luckily he was in town, not down south for ER/ET's. He said to come to the office, so I called A and had him come get me. Sweetest guy, helped me so much. Shaved my underarms and applied new deoderant and helped me get dressed. While dressing I vomited and just felt worse and worse. I was crying it was so bad. We got in the car and drove the 30 min to the RE's office and they showed us right in. RE did an u/s and told us to go to the local ER (again!). Once there it took about 45 min to get checked in. I was miserable trying to sit in their wheelchair the whole time, but finally there is a bed and we are taken back. Another IV, more fluids, more Dil.audid.
We get another u/s and a consult from one of the general surgeons. He wants to do a lap to see exactly what is going on and to drain the fluid. My RE shows up and is against this (as an aside, I had said to A, why can't they just drain the fluid? multiple times w/out much of any kind of answer from anyone) and wants them to do a paracentesis to drain the fluid. He and the surgeon talk and decide to go that route.
The radiologist comes in, they use an u/s to look around my belly to find the best place and then clean and numb me up. In goes the needle and catheter. OW!!!! I felt embarassed because I yelled, but yowch it hurt! Out comes 500mL of bloody fluid. Nice. That is half a liter. HALF A LITER!! I get some more pain meds and we are admitted to the hospital, which saddened and brightened me all at once. I wanted to go home, who ever wants to be in the hospital, but I was so happy that they weren't just doping me up and sending me home.
I stayed in the hospital from Monday the 26th until Friday the 30th. The surgeon was super concerned because he wasn't sure exactly what was wrong with me. I had all that fluid, remnants of a ruptured cyst, extreme pain, hugely bloated belly and low electrolytes. They treated with super strong antibiotics, pain meds, and fluids. I couldn't eat all of Mon and part of Tuesday. Then I started with clear liquids (water, juice, broth) for 2 days, then full liquids (water, milk, juice, "cream of" soups, pudding, Ensure (yuk!!)) until Friday. I asked for real food and seriously, it was the best I had ever tasted. I was also released that day, so it was a really good day.
My mom also flew out here from MI on Wednesday to help A and be here for me. It has been wonderful to have her here. I can't begin to express how much it means to me. She is a true angel.
I have been feeling better everyday. Stronger and less sore. I am off work this week to recouperate more, per my surgeon. I went to see him Monday and have an u/s Friday to see how things are doing "down there". Hopefully it will all be back to normal soon. It's been a long hard road.
I have found since leaving the hospital that I most likely had OHSS (ovar.ian hyper.stimulation sy.ndrome). The severe form. It's a pretty scary thing and I am beyond upset that my RE didn't seem to know or want to admit that this is what was wrong with me. Google it, and then think of my protocol...high stims and Estra.ce 2x/day. No E2 checks.....hmmmm, seems likely.
Otherwise, in other sad news. We got 11 eggs. We did not do transfer. I was in no shape to drive six hours to do so. So we froze what made it to day 6. 1 embryo. I am heartbroken. We now have 15 babies in heaven. 15. I pray that God keeps them and protects them and their little frosty sibling. That's all I can do right now.
Other than that we are trying to heal mentally, emotionally and even spiritually. I have a lot of questions and a lot of anger that I need to work through, but hopefully we will begin to do so soon. If you are willing, please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Men are from Mars.................
I think it's a men thing. They just don't understand the feelings and emotions that women experience.
I hate that I feel the need to write this, but it helps to get these things out of my system.
So yesterday and today have been a little difficult. Yesterday was my beta day, and as we all obviously know, that didn't happen. Today a friend of mine, after waiting about 36 hours for it, got her beta results back. It was negative. It breaks my heart that infertility IS. That it is experienced, that it causes pain, that it leaves the most giving, caring, wonderful women, empty.
Anyway, on to my real point. I LOVE my dad. More than anything. My parents mean the world to me and we are very close. They have and are extremely supportive of A and I as we go through this battle with IF. But sometimes I wish my dad wouldn't say the things he does.
I think it's hard because when I call them I expect sympathy, not frankness. I called my mom when I got home from work today. We talk about every other day. And I cried to her, told her that yesterday was difficult for me and that I was really sad about my friend and her results and how unfair infertility is. She understands me and my sometimes irrational emotions.
After we finished talking she asked if I wanted to say hi to my dad. I did and I cried to him a bit. And he told me that yes, things are hard, but you have to look at the positives and move forward. That people face difficult things everyday. Yes, they do, but people aren't his daughter, and people aren't the ones calling and crying to him because they are sad that they lost their 5 chances at a baby. He made me feel, and I am even sure in the rational part of my brain that he didn't mean it this way, that he probably just didn't know exactly what to say, that I should be over this and moving on and focusing on the future instead of dwelling on the sadness of the past.
I know in my head that this is what I should be doing. I am mad at myself for still being upset. I feel like I should be able to pick up and move on. That it's time. But........I can't yet. I keep wanting to call the RE, well actually I want them to call me like they said they would, ugh; but I can't. I get my phone out at lunch and hope that I have a missed call from them and say to myself if I don't, that I am going to call them and get this moving. And I don't have a missed call, and I don't call them. I am just treading water right now, not moving forward or back. Just waiting, but I don't know for what.
I hate that I feel the need to write this, but it helps to get these things out of my system.
So yesterday and today have been a little difficult. Yesterday was my beta day, and as we all obviously know, that didn't happen. Today a friend of mine, after waiting about 36 hours for it, got her beta results back. It was negative. It breaks my heart that infertility IS. That it is experienced, that it causes pain, that it leaves the most giving, caring, wonderful women, empty.
Anyway, on to my real point. I LOVE my dad. More than anything. My parents mean the world to me and we are very close. They have and are extremely supportive of A and I as we go through this battle with IF. But sometimes I wish my dad wouldn't say the things he does.
I think it's hard because when I call them I expect sympathy, not frankness. I called my mom when I got home from work today. We talk about every other day. And I cried to her, told her that yesterday was difficult for me and that I was really sad about my friend and her results and how unfair infertility is. She understands me and my sometimes irrational emotions.
After we finished talking she asked if I wanted to say hi to my dad. I did and I cried to him a bit. And he told me that yes, things are hard, but you have to look at the positives and move forward. That people face difficult things everyday. Yes, they do, but people aren't his daughter, and people aren't the ones calling and crying to him because they are sad that they lost their 5 chances at a baby. He made me feel, and I am even sure in the rational part of my brain that he didn't mean it this way, that he probably just didn't know exactly what to say, that I should be over this and moving on and focusing on the future instead of dwelling on the sadness of the past.
I know in my head that this is what I should be doing. I am mad at myself for still being upset. I feel like I should be able to pick up and move on. That it's time. But........I can't yet. I keep wanting to call the RE, well actually I want them to call me like they said they would, ugh; but I can't. I get my phone out at lunch and hope that I have a missed call from them and say to myself if I don't, that I am going to call them and get this moving. And I don't have a missed call, and I don't call them. I am just treading water right now, not moving forward or back. Just waiting, but I don't know for what.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Good, but tiring weekend
So I went home. To MI! I was happy to be able to see my parents again. I guess I am too homesick in some peoples opinions, but oh well. I think part of it stems from our IF. It's really hard to go through, as many know, and it feels in a way like an illness to me and it makes me want my mom. So I had a blast. Let's begin from the beginning, which wasn't all that smooth.......
Wednesday @ 7am I headed down to the airport. Everything was smooth until we reached my favorite airport - Phoenix. My connecting plane had mechanical issues and was delayed 3 hours. Yay. I have spent some many hours in that airport waiting for delayed planes or for the next plane because my first plane was delayed. It's really great.
Anyway! So instead of arriving in Detroit at 6:30, I got in at 10. It was worst for my dad as he gets up at 4:30am to go to work, so he was really tired on Thursday.
On Thursday my mom and I hung out. I got my hair cut, we went to lunch and shopping then home to spend time w/my dad and just relax.
On Friday my mom and I went to the mall and then we went out with my dad and A's parents and brother for dinner. Then we went to a local bar in my hometown and my best friends all showed up. We left there, the parents went home and we went bowling and to a karaoke bar.
On Saturday my BFF and I ate breakfast w/my parents, went shopping (lol, I am not even that big of a shopper!) and then out to dinner w/my and her parents. Later that night all my friends came over my mom and dad's again and brought their kids (fun, but.......).
On Sunday my BFF had to leave for home and I had to get ready to go home too. It was a sad day, but so worth it to see my parents again.
My mom gave me some needles, syringes and saline so I can practice my injections too. It was really nice of her. I have to go pick up my BCP's sometime this week because I start those on Friday night. I have my Menopur and my other drugs were overnighted today, so I should be receiving those tomorrow. So yay! And, OMG! And.... I don't even know what to say.
Here it goes!
And it's definitely a go. I started spotting pink yesterday, so I am just waiting for it to start fully. But that should work out well w/the BCP's too, starting right as I start my period.
I should get going though. I am so tired from the time change and not sleeping well last night. I am going to job search and then go up to bed. Happy St. Patty's Day!!
Wednesday @ 7am I headed down to the airport. Everything was smooth until we reached my favorite airport - Phoenix. My connecting plane had mechanical issues and was delayed 3 hours. Yay. I have spent some many hours in that airport waiting for delayed planes or for the next plane because my first plane was delayed. It's really great.
Anyway! So instead of arriving in Detroit at 6:30, I got in at 10. It was worst for my dad as he gets up at 4:30am to go to work, so he was really tired on Thursday.
On Thursday my mom and I hung out. I got my hair cut, we went to lunch and shopping then home to spend time w/my dad and just relax.
On Friday my mom and I went to the mall and then we went out with my dad and A's parents and brother for dinner. Then we went to a local bar in my hometown and my best friends all showed up. We left there, the parents went home and we went bowling and to a karaoke bar.
On Saturday my BFF and I ate breakfast w/my parents, went shopping (lol, I am not even that big of a shopper!) and then out to dinner w/my and her parents. Later that night all my friends came over my mom and dad's again and brought their kids (fun, but.......).
On Sunday my BFF had to leave for home and I had to get ready to go home too. It was a sad day, but so worth it to see my parents again.
My mom gave me some needles, syringes and saline so I can practice my injections too. It was really nice of her. I have to go pick up my BCP's sometime this week because I start those on Friday night. I have my Menopur and my other drugs were overnighted today, so I should be receiving those tomorrow. So yay! And, OMG! And.... I don't even know what to say.
Here it goes!
And it's definitely a go. I started spotting pink yesterday, so I am just waiting for it to start fully. But that should work out well w/the BCP's too, starting right as I start my period.
I should get going though. I am so tired from the time change and not sleeping well last night. I am going to job search and then go up to bed. Happy St. Patty's Day!!
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Boring, boring
Just checking in real quick. It's Saturday around 6. We were out and about today. Got some free undies from VS. Have another coupon waiting to be used, but it's not until next week. Applied for another job today. It's depressing to even look out there right now, there is just nothing. Sigh.
Only 20 more days until I start BCP's. I got my Menopur in the mail on Wenesday. One thing off my list!
Other than that, nothing much new. My mom and I looked up all the drugs online to see what their use is.
I am trying to get back to MI in March for a few days. We will see if that works out. A says I should go even if he can't. So I am going to ask on Monday and see what the evil bosses say. Cross your fingers for me. My mom has four days off so it would be awesome to see her again.
Anyway. That's about it for now.
Only 20 more days until I start BCP's. I got my Menopur in the mail on Wenesday. One thing off my list!
Other than that, nothing much new. My mom and I looked up all the drugs online to see what their use is.
I am trying to get back to MI in March for a few days. We will see if that works out. A says I should go even if he can't. So I am going to ask on Monday and see what the evil bosses say. Cross your fingers for me. My mom has four days off so it would be awesome to see her again.
Anyway. That's about it for now.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Back to real life
So we are back from our vacation. Unfortunately. We had so much fun and it was wonderful to see my parents. I had a really hard time saying goodbye and letting them leave. Here are some pics from the cruise.......
I would put more, but the blog would become all about the pics because those are much rosier than how I feel. I spoke w/my parents on the trip about our condition. We have made the decision to go forward with IVF. Now I just need to call the doctor and set it up and get some idea of payments, plans, option, when it will start, etc, etc.
The only bad thing is.... it makes me sick to my stomach to think about it, so I have been putting it off. So there's that. I know I can do it. I can. I just have to keep telling myself that I can. But I really need someone to hold my hand. Or do it for me. And make decisions and go through it. I know, that's obviously not an option and I know that I am strong enough for this, I am just questioning myself is all.
Anyway, I just can't really delve into this tonight anymore. I will get back on sometime soon and post more.
To end on a positive note - the vacation was great, seeing my parents was great. My best friend and her husband come to visit in April. There are good things, it's just sometimes difficult to get past the difficult.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Vacation!!
Just wanted to check in really quickly before vacation. We leave tomorrow for an 8 day cruise to Mexico. We are taking the train down to San Diego and leaving from there Friday morning. We will have a bunch of days at sea and 3 stops - Ixtapa/Zihuatanejo, Manzanillo, and Acapulco. My parents are meeting us in SD tomorrow night too. Looks to be a great time. I am so beyond excited.
I will check in, update and hopefully post pics when we get back home. Eeeeeee! Mexico here we come!!
I will check in, update and hopefully post pics when we get back home. Eeeeeee! Mexico here we come!!
Sunday, December 14, 2008
My mid montly update..........
So I started posting earlier this week, but then we decided to go out to dinner. And then we stayed home, but I didn't feel like getting my computer out and trying again.
So what has been happening. This past cycle was a bust, big surprise there! Though I was sad about starting my period, we had fun last weekend. We went out w/some friends for dinner and drinks on Friday night in downtown. Played pool, listened to some music, generally had a pretty good time. Then on Saturday I got a little bit more shopping done for A. I still need to finish him, I think I am going to try this week. Later on Saturday we drove a bit up north and visited w/some friends. Their town has a holiday walk around a lake. There are carolers, hot cider, cotton candy and other stuff, along with all the houses along this closed down road being lit up for people's viewing pleasure. Afterwards we hung out there for a bit, had some drinks, sat around a fire, played darts (well I attempted, FAIL!). It was a little bit saddening as I felt as if everyone there had kids or was expecting, but it was fun other than that.
Sunday we pretty much stayed home, baked some cookies and relaxed, it was pretty nice. I baked some more cookies Monday night and sent one batch to my brother and one batch to my best friend.
We wrapped up presents for our families and got those boxed and ready to go. We shipped those out yesterday, along with going to see Four Christmases (good movie), going to look at the ocean and watch some otters and pelicans for a bit, and then heading out for a nice dinner. We went to a local Italian place, started at the bar for a glass of wine, then went and had dinner. It was expensive, but super good. Then we came home, lit the tree and some candles and listened to Christmas music, and then.............well I don't think I need to describe it. I prayed while we did, and cried a little. I am not sure how pathetic that is on a scale of 1-10, but I am guessing it's pretty high up there.
Anyway, as for today I think we are going to build our gingerbread house. Silly I guess, but it looked like fun. I am going to try and finish Christmas shopping for A this week. I can't believe that next weekend is the last one before Christmas. This season seems to be flying by! I guess in a way that's good, seeing as how I have been having more trouble this year than last being away, and it makes our cruise come faster. I cannot wait to see my parents! My dad got laid off this last week. Hopefully it is just temporary like he says. I cried when he told me and he laughed at me and told me that things were fine. But I worry about him and my mom. They shouldn't be going through this at this point in their lives. They are getting ready to retire. They have put in their time. I guess a lot of people probably feel that way too though.
Anyway, on to the online ads, see if anything else that I need to buy for A is on sale this week.
Til next time...............
So what has been happening. This past cycle was a bust, big surprise there! Though I was sad about starting my period, we had fun last weekend. We went out w/some friends for dinner and drinks on Friday night in downtown. Played pool, listened to some music, generally had a pretty good time. Then on Saturday I got a little bit more shopping done for A. I still need to finish him, I think I am going to try this week. Later on Saturday we drove a bit up north and visited w/some friends. Their town has a holiday walk around a lake. There are carolers, hot cider, cotton candy and other stuff, along with all the houses along this closed down road being lit up for people's viewing pleasure. Afterwards we hung out there for a bit, had some drinks, sat around a fire, played darts (well I attempted, FAIL!). It was a little bit saddening as I felt as if everyone there had kids or was expecting, but it was fun other than that.
Sunday we pretty much stayed home, baked some cookies and relaxed, it was pretty nice. I baked some more cookies Monday night and sent one batch to my brother and one batch to my best friend.
We wrapped up presents for our families and got those boxed and ready to go. We shipped those out yesterday, along with going to see Four Christmases (good movie), going to look at the ocean and watch some otters and pelicans for a bit, and then heading out for a nice dinner. We went to a local Italian place, started at the bar for a glass of wine, then went and had dinner. It was expensive, but super good. Then we came home, lit the tree and some candles and listened to Christmas music, and then.............well I don't think I need to describe it. I prayed while we did, and cried a little. I am not sure how pathetic that is on a scale of 1-10, but I am guessing it's pretty high up there.
Anyway, as for today I think we are going to build our gingerbread house. Silly I guess, but it looked like fun. I am going to try and finish Christmas shopping for A this week. I can't believe that next weekend is the last one before Christmas. This season seems to be flying by! I guess in a way that's good, seeing as how I have been having more trouble this year than last being away, and it makes our cruise come faster. I cannot wait to see my parents! My dad got laid off this last week. Hopefully it is just temporary like he says. I cried when he told me and he laughed at me and told me that things were fine. But I worry about him and my mom. They shouldn't be going through this at this point in their lives. They are getting ready to retire. They have put in their time. I guess a lot of people probably feel that way too though.
Anyway, on to the online ads, see if anything else that I need to buy for A is on sale this week.
Til next time...............
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