Our little embies

One year ago today we woke up excited.

One year ago today we left the house, telling our furbabies that when we got home that night Momma was going to be pregnant.

One year ago today I got one of the most difficult calls of my life.

One year ago today was the day that we found out that our beautiful little embryos had arrested in the night. That our 5 beautiful little babies were gone. That before they even had a chance, they were taken away from us.

I took and still do take comfort in the fact that God is looking after them, that it just wasn't the right time for them or for us.

But it hurt. Badly.

So today is hard.

But it'll get better.

U/S today

So I went in today for an u/s to see how things are doing. It took a long time, about 45 min. I got there after having drank a glass of OJ, and 2 bottles of water, without having to pee. She even said my bladder wasn't that full. Stupid body. She was able to do the external u/s, had me go use the bathroom and then proceeded with the internal (hello, dildo cam!!). It hurt! I hate feeling this way. I am so ready for things to be over and back to normal.

Anyway about half way through she said my bladder was filling up again and asked me to go empty it. So I did. I get back to the room and there is another lady in there. They are talking about my scans. The tech gets me all set up again and the other tech comes in to have a look too. She said it looked like my ovaries were "hemorraghing". Umm, so not what you want to hear. So first thought in my mind.....my ovaries are bleeding? How will they stop that? What if they can't? Will I lose my ovaries? At 28!?

The other tech finishes up and leaves and the original tech finishes, stating that my ovaries are "really vascular". I talked to my mom after (who went home yesterday, so sad!) and she said that hopefully it just means that they are rich with blood from all the drugs last cycle and that they will be fine.

All I know is that I want the radiologist to read them and get the results over to my surgeon ASAP so I can know too. Pray that it's nothing and I just need more time to finish healing.

Also, got some paperwork from the embryologist and clinic yesterday. It looks like we have 2 frozen. But they are cleaved embryos (which if my reading is right means that they haven't made it to blast stage yet, which is crazy because they were frozen on day 6) so I don't know how hopeful to be. I read some statistics that said that frozen blasts have a 44% implantation rate and cleaved embryos have a 37% rate, so we will see when our time comes.

I just took some more painkillers so I am hoping to sleep a little bit and get rid of this pain. Life is so wonderful right now............................

5 embryos!!

So I am bad, I didn't post with my big news yesterday, but we were out running the roads, picking up Mothers Day gifts, then we came home, watched House and went to bed.

So anyway, to go along with the title of my blog post today - I got the call from the RE yesterday at 11 and he said.....dun dun dun......5 of our 7 eggs fertilized naturally and we have 5 little embryos growing!! So, I didn't hear from him today, so I am assuming we are still growing pretty well and still aiming for a 4 or 5 day transfer on either Thurs or Fri.

I was kicking myself tonight, I was supposed to start my Estrace this morning and I totally missed it! Ugh! So I carried it upstairs in order to start taking it tonight. Bummed me out, first thing I have missed in this whole process. Hopefully it doesn't have any kind of detrimental effect.

But that's pretty much it for now. Obviously there are other things going on in my life, but none of them compare to this, so .....it's falling to the wayside in my blog for a bit. :-)