Thoughts

I can hardly believe that on the 14th of October my baby will be 8 months old! "They" aren't kidding when they say that time flies.

I am trying to soak up every moment, every smile, every laugh.

I sat down with her baby book the other day to update my info. I wanted to write about her first cold, her first ear infection, her first cross-country flight/trip. I wrote down that she is sitting up well now (7.5 months), I need to add that she has been trying Ger.ber puffs and doing super well with them. She can stand (usually with our hands under her arms) pretty well, gets tired quickly, but today she also stood just holding onto my fingers. Her legs crumpled not too long after, but it's a big deal to me.

I am amazed daily at all the things she can do and how much she is changing.

And sad at the same time. I want it all to slow down. I want to capture everything and burn it into my memory.

I have been trying to take more pictures lately. I take at least one a day, but it's with my i.Phone lately, so I have been trying to make a point to use our "real" camera and catch anything and everything.

Yesterday we went pumpkin picking. We got a big one for A to carve, and three small C-sized pumpkins. We got a lot of pictures of C and some of A and I holding her.

Today we went outside and played in our front "yard" in the sun and got a lot of pictures of C and us. She has such beautiful blue eyes and the sunlight makes them sparkle. :)

In other news, I got my first post-partum period on Thursday. Lovely.

I am glad I got it. It had been 8 weeks since I stopped pumping and I had tested once (twice?) already, just to be sure. I did't think there was a chance, but when you go that long without, you start to wonder.

And then I think.......now we can try for #2. And I get excited. And sad. I am so torn. I have always wanted more than one. And I know that I have enough love in my heart for another. And I think a sibling is a wonderful gift.

But then I think about all the things we could give C if it's just her. And how I love watching her grow and giving her all my time and attention. And how that would change. And how I wouldn't be able to give a 2nd the same as C has had so far, because there would be two, and it just wouldn't be the same.

But then I think of a new baby and all the joy it would bring. I think of pregnancy (yes, I was scared and it was hard) and how badly I want to experience it one more time.

Still not sure. But unless we use "raincoats" we won't be preventing. So...........

But we all know it took 3.5 years, 1 cancelled IVF, 1 OHSS inducing cancelled IVF, 1 FET, resulting in a c/p, and a 2nd lap for us to even get pregnant with C. Who knows what it would take to get pregnant with a 2nd.

Thoughts to ponder.....