Updates......sad and painful

I haven't updated in awhile I know. Life has been hard to say the least. I want to go into pretty minute detail, so I am sorry this may get technical and medical, but I want to remember this time as best as I can, painful though it has been.

So we went into the RE on Monday the 19th, took one last set of stims and set trigger for Tuesday the 20th at 1:30 am (Technically Wednesday at 1:30am I guess) and ER for Thursday at 1:30pm.
We triggered, did the deed (as per doctors orders) and went to sleep. Worked Wednesday, went out to dinner with friends and headed to bed again. Got up early, headed down to retrieval. We got to the city early so we stopped at a local mall. We wandered around and went to the Dis.ney Sto.re. I got three Stiches (:D) and 2 t-shirts. We then we to the surgery center and waited to get called back.
A went back before me to drop off his swimmers and then I was taken back, got my IV started and got moved to the OR.
Next thing I know I wake up in intense pain. I mean, excruiating. I let them know and they give me phenton.al (sp??). Didn't touch it. Gave me another dose. Again, nothing. Spoke with doc and gave me De.moral in my IV and an injection in my shoulder for "extended" relief. Helps....for about 30 mins. I don't feel like they are understanding how much pain I am in. I am trying to explain and I think they think I am exaggerating. Time passes, another RE comes back (mine had left, without ever telling us how many eggs we got!!) and presses around on my belly. I groan and flinch. He tells me to relax. Um, I can't I haven't hurt this badly EVER.

They begin trying to get me moving, go to the bathroom, eat a cracker. It was not working well. Peeing hurt so badly, moving made me nauseous, it was horrible. The doctor sent A to a pharmacy across the parking lot for some Vi.codin. I took 2 extra strength Ty.lenol and then when he returned, one Vi.codin. No relief. They are beginning to understand I am not faking. I have been through this before and the first time was nothing like this. They call my RE, and call and call and call. Finally they get ahold of him and he says he will come back, as does the nurse anesthetist. They do an external and internal ultrasound and see what might be a burst cyst and fluid in my abdomen. The decision is made to head to the ER.

The first of multiple trips to ER's begin. We head over, A following our RE to a local hospital. We are checked in and the nurse takes out my IV and starts a new one. I get fluids and some Mor.phine. It makes me cry, it scares me because it makes me feel so funny, but it helps with the pain. I get two doses of that and then sent for another ultrasound. Ow.................pain like you cannot imagine. I use the bathroom again and get sent back to the ER while they await the results. Yes to the burst cyst and fluid. But the fluid looks like just fluid, no blood, so they are not worried. I then get a dose of Dilau.did and we are sent to a local hotel that A booked and set up an appt to see the RE in the morning. I slept sitting up that night because I couldn't breathe laying down and I had such intense pain in my abdomen and my shoulders.

The next morning my RE calls and says he doesn't really think he can do much for us and tells us to head home and recouperate at home. So away we go. Three hours back home. I was feeling bad, but not as bad as the night before. We stopped for lunch and I dosed myself with more Vic.odin. We get home, I get in bed and sleep. I woke up around dinner. A makes me a sandwich. The smell nauseates me. I try some crackers, can't do those either. Pain mounts and the nausea does not help. I am back where I was after retrieval. I asked A to kill me it hurt so bad. He calls my mom and the RE and both recommend the ER again. So he helps me get dressed and off we go. Got checked in, hooked up to the IV, receive fluids and Dialu.did. I get a dose of this, it helps, use the restroom for a urine analysis and go get a CT scan with contrast to check my abdomen.
After the CT I head back to my bed and get more pain and antinausea medicine. CT shows the same as the u/s. Fluid and burst cyst. Sent home with script for Perc.ocet and more antinausea meds.

Went right to bed, slept most of the day Saturday and Sunday. Sunday night feeling a bit better. I took a shower and ate some dinner. Still REALLY bloated and sore, but not feeling like I am dying. Told A I thought I might be getting better.

A went back to work on Monday and I woke up when he left. I was feeling very acidy in my throat and just icky. I tried some crackers so I could take my meds, but it wasn't working out very well. I took the Zo.fran and just kept feeling more and more ill. Talked to my mom who was worried and then A, telling him I thought I needed him to come home at lunch. My dad called and told me I really needed to call my RE and let him know how badly I was feeling again. I did and luckily he was in town, not down south for ER/ET's. He said to come to the office, so I called A and had him come get me. Sweetest guy, helped me so much. Shaved my underarms and applied new deoderant and helped me get dressed. While dressing I vomited and just felt worse and worse. I was crying it was so bad. We got in the car and drove the 30 min to the RE's office and they showed us right in. RE did an u/s and told us to go to the local ER (again!). Once there it took about 45 min to get checked in. I was miserable trying to sit in their wheelchair the whole time, but finally there is a bed and we are taken back. Another IV, more fluids, more Dil.audid.

We get another u/s and a consult from one of the general surgeons. He wants to do a lap to see exactly what is going on and to drain the fluid. My RE shows up and is against this (as an aside, I had said to A, why can't they just drain the fluid? multiple times w/out much of any kind of answer from anyone) and wants them to do a paracentesis to drain the fluid. He and the surgeon talk and decide to go that route.

The radiologist comes in, they use an u/s to look around my belly to find the best place and then clean and numb me up. In goes the needle and catheter. OW!!!! I felt embarassed because I yelled, but yowch it hurt! Out comes 500mL of bloody fluid. Nice. That is half a liter. HALF A LITER!! I get some more pain meds and we are admitted to the hospital, which saddened and brightened me all at once. I wanted to go home, who ever wants to be in the hospital, but I was so happy that they weren't just doping me up and sending me home.

I stayed in the hospital from Monday the 26th until Friday the 30th. The surgeon was super concerned because he wasn't sure exactly what was wrong with me. I had all that fluid, remnants of a ruptured cyst, extreme pain, hugely bloated belly and low electrolytes. They treated with super strong antibiotics, pain meds, and fluids. I couldn't eat all of Mon and part of Tuesday. Then I started with clear liquids (water, juice, broth) for 2 days, then full liquids (water, milk, juice, "cream of" soups, pudding, Ensure (yuk!!)) until Friday. I asked for real food and seriously, it was the best I had ever tasted. I was also released that day, so it was a really good day.

My mom also flew out here from MI on Wednesday to help A and be here for me. It has been wonderful to have her here. I can't begin to express how much it means to me. She is a true angel.

I have been feeling better everyday. Stronger and less sore. I am off work this week to recouperate more, per my surgeon. I went to see him Monday and have an u/s Friday to see how things are doing "down there". Hopefully it will all be back to normal soon. It's been a long hard road.

I have found since leaving the hospital that I most likely had OHSS (ovar.ian hyper.stimulation sy.ndrome). The severe form. It's a pretty scary thing and I am beyond upset that my RE didn't seem to know or want to admit that this is what was wrong with me. Google it, and then think of my protocol...high stims and Estra.ce 2x/day. No E2 checks.....hmmmm, seems likely.

Otherwise, in other sad news. We got 11 eggs. We did not do transfer. I was in no shape to drive six hours to do so. So we froze what made it to day 6. 1 embryo. I am heartbroken. We now have 15 babies in heaven. 15. I pray that God keeps them and protects them and their little frosty sibling. That's all I can do right now.

Other than that we are trying to heal mentally, emotionally and even spiritually. I have a lot of questions and a lot of anger that I need to work through, but hopefully we will begin to do so soon. If you are willing, please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.