Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Jealous

I am jealous. I feel like an evil person because some of the people I am jealous of have been trying to have babies for awhile too, but I am feeling left behind and sad and that life is just not fair.
I am happy for my friends when they get pregnant, whether they get pregnant the first month they try or whether it takes them months or years. I truly truly am.
But right now I am jealous. We have done 2 IVF's and haven't even had a chance to let an embie grow inside of me. As you know, with our first IVF our embies arrested between day 3 and 4, so we didn't even have a chance to put one back. And then with IVF #2 I ended up in the hospital with severe OHSS and had to cancel transfer. We have 2 frosties on ice and we are scheduled for an FET (frozen embryo transfer) in January.

It's just one of those days where I want to go outside and scream, lay on the ground and kick my feet and cry and rant and wonder, when will it be our turn??

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