Beta #2 came back at 3.9 today.
We have lost the pregnancy right at the very start.
I feel lost. Broken. Depressed.....and on and on.
Where to go from here?
IF we start again, and right now I just can't fathom it and I don't think we can afford it, so that's a big IF, we will be getting a second and/or third opinion. We will not be working with our current RE.
I am disappointed in their professionalism and compassion. After calling with the results today, the nurse (who is pretty much the only one I like there) says, "So, we're doing another fresh cycle with you, right?"
Are you freakin' kidding me? You just tell me that I lost this pregnancy, this pregnancy that we have worked so hard for, and want SO BADLY, and in the next second you ask me when we are cycling again?? Can I have a little time to mourn?
Anyway, that is it for now, I can't focus enough to write anything else.
Thanks for your thoughts.
5 comments:
I just wanted to say i am so very sorry for your loss. I hope you decide to go on and do it again. Def go to a new dr. Even interview with a few before picking. Bring a bunch of questions to each one. I am currently waiting for beta (wed) on my first FET and i have the same symptoms as you but this usually means AF is going to show. We are going to do it again though. Don't give up hope. GL and i look fwd to following your blog :)
Hopeful34 and I have become close and as I was encouraging her today I noticed your blog on her list. I am so sorry about your loss. I wish the best for you and hope it is ok I am adding you to my reader.
Women who go through IF and losses have a certain appreciation for a pregnancy and a live baby. Not that we wanted our life to be this way, but it does change us and hopefully for the better. I had 19 blissful weeks I thought I was one of the lucky ones to deserve a baby, actually 2. I pray for the other women who are going through IF frequently; it is a large load to carry and only those who have gone through it understand.
Wow this got long! Take care,J
I'm so sorry for your loss. You've been through so much and my heart just aches for you.
You should definitely get a second opinion. It will renew your sense of hope. Hang in there!
Thanks for your kind comments, ladies, they mean a lot to me. I am sure that we will continue on, MH is not ready to give up and I know that in the back of my mind, I truly am not either, I just feel pretty hopeless right now.
Again, thanks ladies!
I am so sorry for your loss. I sometimes feel the nursing staff doesn't always get it and they just blurt things out. Sending you hugs and thoughts and prayers
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