Hire me??? Please??

I cannot stand my job. I think it's always worse when I have had a few days away from it, because although I do hate it on a daily basis, I don't loathe it as much as I do when I return from time away from it.

This week. Bad week.
While I was gone, literally nothing got done. Things got screwed up, and my office was turned into a shamble.
Get back. Spend over 40 min on Monday just trying to FIND my desk, then 3+ hours getting caught up, before I can even START doing my normal, daily tasks.
Get sick, work Tuesday, busiest day of the week, go home and tumble into bed.
Call in sick on Wednesday. Didn't really want to, but didn't really see what good I would be.
Went in Thursday, but late, my IV intralipids were that morning.
OMG, you would think I was gone a week again from looking at my desk.
Again, nothing got done.
How come my office is a mess when nothing is completed? ARGH!!!

Yesterday go to one boss, tell boss, we need to transfer money. Can't, money was "put" somewhere else. Ok, well, um, we have bills to pay.
"OH, we do??" *blank stare from boss*
Yes, we have "this much" in the checking acct, and "this much" due.
"OH!" *suprised, idiotic stare*

So there's that.

Today, come to find out other boss entered an order on Tuesday for one customer under another customers name. Other customer calls today, "I didn't order this." Boss, "haha, well call the other customer and see if they can work something out between them". HUH?!?! What kind of response is that? (And just for the record, if I had messed this up......I would have NEVER heard the end of it)
Other boss tells me I saved the "wrong" file to my desktop, it's "outdated". Well, it has all the info necessary and it worked while I was gone. Still boss starts another new, timewasting project, putting all this info in the file online and we are going to "market" the idea and sell it. Nice, AND boss needs my help, cuz ya know, I am not busy or anything (HA!!!)
First boss enters another order, charges card but does not close out order. I ship it and charge the card. Find out boss has previously charged them, refund the customer, apologize through email, and let boss know that in future we need to do all orders a certain way. Boss yells at me and says it's because I was gone. So, somehow my bosses mistake was my fault. And then informs me that I ship stuff all the time w/out charging for it so it was helping me out. Sigh. Let's make this about me and forget that I was just asking for you to do something a different way so we all do it the same.

I can't EVER WIN. I need to do something that stimulates my brain more. I need more freedom. I need a LITTLE positive reinforcement sometimes. I just want them to leave me alone.

I need a new job, period.

Sorry if this is flustered and hard to read. I am so upset right now. It might not seem like a lot, but day in and day out, this is my life. They are a husband and wife "team". Ha, that's funny. Best deflectors you have ever met, bullshitters to the end, least professional people ever, and behind the times trying to seem otherwise.
Just so you have a little background and don't think I am whining and it's really a fab place......since I have been there (2+ years now) they have had a high turnover. 2 people were there when I started, 1 quit within a month from stress, 1 within 3 because of unhappiness. Since then they have had: 1 stay for 5 months, 2 for 1 month, 1 for 11 months, 1 for 8 months, and 1 get fired after 2 days, and 1 get fired after 1 month. It's me. I am their office staff right now. Um, yay?
Best part? Usually when they want to get rid of someone, instead of just getting rid of them, they set out to (their words not mine) "make their lives miserable" so they quit and they don't have to pay unemployment. It's truly been a mind-boggling, learning experience since I started.

And I can't just quit! I have too much work ethic. I feel badly when I mess up still, I felt badly for calling in sick. I always pick up the slack because I have a fear of being fired and having that on my record. I also have a fear of leaving without another job because of the economy. And I want to give 2 weeks when I do.
But at the same time, I just wanna drop my keys and credit card on the desk and say, See ya, at least once a day. And I cry about it more often than not.
It's truly a superb situation.

So, does anyone wanna hire me? :)