About money. I am a worrier by nature. I am also a saver by nature. Let's see.....IVF = bleeding money. I am not okay with this even on my best day. Logically, yes I understand it and I see the need for the spending of money, but that doesn't really make it any easier.
Our cost are higher this time around. It makes me SO happy that we went for the "multiple" cycle contract, although I still rail at the fact that we are "stuck" with this RE and that we are "stuck" in California until we are either done with these 2 years or pregnant. I got the email from our Meno.pur pharmacy on Tues. Cost there almost doubled. Got the call from our other pharmacy, they do pretty much every other drug for us, and the cost almost doubled. So instead of around $1500 this time, we are looking at $3000. Uh, yay? Not so much. Then today I had to buy my BCP's, those are $63. And the IVF intralipids he wants us to do this time, another $400 there.....I could just keep going and going. It's hard and it's not fair. I want a "free" baby. But it's not meant to be so we deal with it and move on.
I start BCPs on the 14th of Sept, while we are home in MI. I am excited to get started again, but at the same time, scared, nervous and depressed. Hopefully those emotions will fall by the wayside once we get moving again. Half of my meds came via Fed.Ex yesterday, I just need to give the go ahead for the Meno.pur to be charged to our cc.
As for Kohls. We stopped by the new store today, as the website instructed, to drop off my application. But there was no one there, and a huge sign on the side of the builidng said to go to their website or call a number to apply. I got really discouraged and got on the website when we got home, but it says the same thing. Here is the application, drop it off at the store. So A is going to stop by there one day this week for me and drop it off. Bums me out because I tried to dress a little nicely in case there was someone important there to speak with. And I feel unprofessional giving my app to A and having him drop it for me. Like it's not important enough for me to be there they will think. Hopefully not. We will see how it goes and how everything turns out. I am not good at sitting back and watching and waiting though.
Quick aside....it's been hot the last 4 days and no a/c in 100 degree weather is pure torture. Ugh, I am so glad its back to the 70's today.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Fast glance into my world
Wow, I feel like a slacker. I haven't written anything worthwhile in a bit and that recipe that I keep meaning to put down doesn't seem to get done.
I guess I just feel as if I am caught in this circle of complaints. Life is the same lately. My job sucks more than usual, but maybe it's also me because I am just fed up and I have a super bad attitude about it. Tomorrow is Friday and we leave for MI in two weeks. That is just going to have to keep me going.
There is a new Kohls store opening locally and I am thinking about applying. Quitting my "professional" job and going back to retail. I just don't know if we can handle the paycut. Life is so hard sometimes.
In good news. My meds are ordered for this upcoming cycle. Bad news, they are about double what they were last time. Good news, as my H says, it's okay because this cycle is going to work. Bad news, I am on my stupid period. Good news, I got my schedule in the mail today.
Okay enough of that. I start BCPs on 9/14, Lupron on 9/29, and stims about 2 weeks after that, with retrieval planned for around the 21st of October. (Lupron date is not exact, I don't have the calendar in front of me and I am too lazy to go get it, but it's close!)
I am not going to write much more although I know this is the first time I have updated in a bit, but if you don't mind.....let me know what you think of my job idea. Is it completely stupid? Is it a step backwards that I will regret? Sigh, I don't know, it's so hard.
Quick side note really quickly - A might have a kidney stone. He has been having a pain on his right side, around the back, up by his ribcage. He has to go get an ultrasound and Xray tomorrow. In some ways I hope that is it, because then we know what is causing the pain, although I don't want him to go through the pain of passing it. We will find out tomorrow what they say I guess. Keep him in your thoughts, please!
I guess I just feel as if I am caught in this circle of complaints. Life is the same lately. My job sucks more than usual, but maybe it's also me because I am just fed up and I have a super bad attitude about it. Tomorrow is Friday and we leave for MI in two weeks. That is just going to have to keep me going.
There is a new Kohls store opening locally and I am thinking about applying. Quitting my "professional" job and going back to retail. I just don't know if we can handle the paycut. Life is so hard sometimes.
In good news. My meds are ordered for this upcoming cycle. Bad news, they are about double what they were last time. Good news, as my H says, it's okay because this cycle is going to work. Bad news, I am on my stupid period. Good news, I got my schedule in the mail today.
Okay enough of that. I start BCPs on 9/14, Lupron on 9/29, and stims about 2 weeks after that, with retrieval planned for around the 21st of October. (Lupron date is not exact, I don't have the calendar in front of me and I am too lazy to go get it, but it's close!)
I am not going to write much more although I know this is the first time I have updated in a bit, but if you don't mind.....let me know what you think of my job idea. Is it completely stupid? Is it a step backwards that I will regret? Sigh, I don't know, it's so hard.
Quick side note really quickly - A might have a kidney stone. He has been having a pain on his right side, around the back, up by his ribcage. He has to go get an ultrasound and Xray tomorrow. In some ways I hope that is it, because then we know what is causing the pain, although I don't want him to go through the pain of passing it. We will find out tomorrow what they say I guess. Keep him in your thoughts, please!
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Please
Please go support Brooke and her family at:
www.threecheersforbabies.blogspot.com
They suffered an incredible loss today. Please pray that Annaleigh is at peace and that Charlie and Lily keep thriving.
Please keep Brooke and her husband in your thoughts. One cannot even imagine what they are going through at this time.
www.threecheersforbabies.blogspot.com
They suffered an incredible loss today. Please pray that Annaleigh is at peace and that Charlie and Lily keep thriving.
Please keep Brooke and her husband in your thoughts. One cannot even imagine what they are going through at this time.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
To sum it all up
Wow, it's been a bit since I wrote last. Sorry. I have some pics to upload of a dessert I made recently. I will try to do that next time because right now? I am cold. I have on fuzzy socks, fleece pj pants, a tshirt, a sweatshirt and a fleece blanket and I don't wanna get up. :)
Otherwise, what's been going on?????
Hmmmm, let's start with Friday night. Errr, Thursday night. It was A's 31st bday. We didn't do much that night because we were going out on Friday. I made him a cake (yellow with funfetti frosting, his fave) and I made tater tot casserole. First time ever. It was actually really really good!
On Friday.....let me preface this by saying I don't think A has been drunk since Jan or so, it's a very, very rare occurrence, but c'mon, it was his birthday! So we went out with about 8 of our friends to a sushi joint. They also do lots of grilling there at Teppan tables, so we reserved one. It was so FUN and delicious. If you have never been, I totally suggest you try. They light stuff on fire, make your fried rice, steak/chicken/shrimp right in front of you and generally just put on a good show. And tasty too! It was fun. A had Saki for the first time :)
After that the plan was to go bowling. Well, we live in a touristy area and the local bowling alley has...um....about 7 lanes. So it was about an hour wait. We bypassed that and went to a pool hall instead. Played there for about 2 hours and then went to a local pub. A was pleasantly tipsy by this point, had two more beers and a shot and was silly drunk. It was so cute to watch him smile and giggle at the littlest things. He ever seranaded me on the way home with, "Don't Stop Believin'"! It was a great night all in all, and I am glad that he had a good time and we got to celebrate with friends.
Other than that......life has been pretty ho hum. Job is...ya know, the job. Body is still being stupid and not realizing how to get pregnant. Luckily our next IVF is coming up soon. Although we sure our trying our damndest while waiting. Speaking of IVF, I got a phone call Friday from a local healthcare company "confirming my appt for Sept 25th". Hmm, hadn't heard about that one. Well looks to be that I am supposed to do IV intralipids this cycle and they have the appt set and everything. Nice of my RE's office to give me the heads up, don't ya think? I shot my RE an email today asking him to explain the need for this again and for dates of my upcoming cycle. They are SEVERELY lacking in the information providing department. I think I have called them more times than they have called me, JUST to get info that I need to proceed. It's kind of sad, but they are my only option.
Side note about the appt - it's in-house. My house. I don't have to go anywhere, just be at home. The nurse comes to me and hooks me up to an IV in my house (WEIRD!!) and I get meds for about 2 hours. I will update with more info once I have it about the need for this.....
Anyway, I have a headache. I think I am going to go get some food. Can we extend the weekend by a few more days?? And....only like 26 til we go to MI!!!!
Otherwise, what's been going on?????
Hmmmm, let's start with Friday night. Errr, Thursday night. It was A's 31st bday. We didn't do much that night because we were going out on Friday. I made him a cake (yellow with funfetti frosting, his fave) and I made tater tot casserole. First time ever. It was actually really really good!
On Friday.....let me preface this by saying I don't think A has been drunk since Jan or so, it's a very, very rare occurrence, but c'mon, it was his birthday! So we went out with about 8 of our friends to a sushi joint. They also do lots of grilling there at Teppan tables, so we reserved one. It was so FUN and delicious. If you have never been, I totally suggest you try. They light stuff on fire, make your fried rice, steak/chicken/shrimp right in front of you and generally just put on a good show. And tasty too! It was fun. A had Saki for the first time :)
After that the plan was to go bowling. Well, we live in a touristy area and the local bowling alley has...um....about 7 lanes. So it was about an hour wait. We bypassed that and went to a pool hall instead. Played there for about 2 hours and then went to a local pub. A was pleasantly tipsy by this point, had two more beers and a shot and was silly drunk. It was so cute to watch him smile and giggle at the littlest things. He ever seranaded me on the way home with, "Don't Stop Believin'"! It was a great night all in all, and I am glad that he had a good time and we got to celebrate with friends.
Other than that......life has been pretty ho hum. Job is...ya know, the job. Body is still being stupid and not realizing how to get pregnant. Luckily our next IVF is coming up soon. Although we sure our trying our damndest while waiting. Speaking of IVF, I got a phone call Friday from a local healthcare company "confirming my appt for Sept 25th". Hmm, hadn't heard about that one. Well looks to be that I am supposed to do IV intralipids this cycle and they have the appt set and everything. Nice of my RE's office to give me the heads up, don't ya think? I shot my RE an email today asking him to explain the need for this again and for dates of my upcoming cycle. They are SEVERELY lacking in the information providing department. I think I have called them more times than they have called me, JUST to get info that I need to proceed. It's kind of sad, but they are my only option.
Side note about the appt - it's in-house. My house. I don't have to go anywhere, just be at home. The nurse comes to me and hooks me up to an IV in my house (WEIRD!!) and I get meds for about 2 hours. I will update with more info once I have it about the need for this.....
Anyway, I have a headache. I think I am going to go get some food. Can we extend the weekend by a few more days?? And....only like 26 til we go to MI!!!!
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Work stress
I feel boring lately. I have been so down in the dumps, woe is me, my life sucks this last week. I feel boring, blah, and just not myself.
I know I complain about my job, probably too much. I tell myself that I should be happy to HAVE a job in this economy, but I am so completely beyond miserable that the words just don't have a lot of meaning to me.
Friday the 24th was a really bad day. I had a nice weekend, but it was back to hell, and I mean that, on Monday. I can honestly say that it doesn't help that I was due to start my period at any moment, but Mon-Wed were just complete misery to me. I can't even tell you all the things that set me off, but sitting at your desk and trying not to cry and thinking horrible thoughts about your bosses is not any way to be. I couldn't handle it. Thursday morning came and for the first time ever, I took a mental health day. I called in sick and laid in bed and watched romantic comedies. Then I met a friend for some drinks and dinner. It was a really nice day and it felt SO GOOD to be away from the biggest stressor in my life right now.
But then comes Friday. I felt as if I had to go in, but my boss thankfully gave me an out. Asked me if I was feeling better (NO!!) and I said not really. He was all then, why don't you try to get all your stuff done and go home? So I did. I didn't feel guilty about fudging the truth either. I didn't feel "good". I have so much trouble working for them. I wish I could adequately explain all the things I have been through there, but that would take too much time and I really don't feel like rehashing it. It's like this - try your hardest, no recognition, make one mistake, easily fixable, never hear the end of it, run the office single-handedly, you don't do enough - pile more things on your plate, one day they love you and talk to you like you are friends (which secretly makes you laugh because it's so preposterous), the next day become cold and negative and disrespect you. It's so hard to work wondering what type of day your bosses (married to each other, which is not helpful at all) are going to have, because it totally affects your day. Listen to them scream back and forth across the office at each other, f**k this, f**k that, and on and on.
Ok, so I know I said I wouldn't go into it, and I did. I hope you get the picture. Anyway, long story short, I went home early on Friday. Tried to nap, watched some Greys on DVD and just hung out.
One exciting spot from this weekend - we stopped at the craft store and I bought all the things I needed to get started with knitting and began teaching myself on Sunday. I lost myself in it for about 3 hours. I like it so far, hopefully I can learn it pretty well and start making some stuff. I would love to knit some cute socks or scarfs and give them away as Christmas gifts. We will see, I don't know if that is too ambitious of a goal. Wish me luck though.
And, one more aside; as I mentioned I was awaiting a new cycle. I started it on Saturday. Whoop-ee.............I was pretty bummed (like always, I know). So it's looking like probably one more full cycle before I start on the BCP's for IVF#2. I am getting antsy, so ready to get started. I had a dream on Monday night about a baby - a little baby boy. I was breastfeeding him. Let's hope this is some kind of wonderful sign.
I know I complain about my job, probably too much. I tell myself that I should be happy to HAVE a job in this economy, but I am so completely beyond miserable that the words just don't have a lot of meaning to me.
Friday the 24th was a really bad day. I had a nice weekend, but it was back to hell, and I mean that, on Monday. I can honestly say that it doesn't help that I was due to start my period at any moment, but Mon-Wed were just complete misery to me. I can't even tell you all the things that set me off, but sitting at your desk and trying not to cry and thinking horrible thoughts about your bosses is not any way to be. I couldn't handle it. Thursday morning came and for the first time ever, I took a mental health day. I called in sick and laid in bed and watched romantic comedies. Then I met a friend for some drinks and dinner. It was a really nice day and it felt SO GOOD to be away from the biggest stressor in my life right now.
But then comes Friday. I felt as if I had to go in, but my boss thankfully gave me an out. Asked me if I was feeling better (NO!!) and I said not really. He was all then, why don't you try to get all your stuff done and go home? So I did. I didn't feel guilty about fudging the truth either. I didn't feel "good". I have so much trouble working for them. I wish I could adequately explain all the things I have been through there, but that would take too much time and I really don't feel like rehashing it. It's like this - try your hardest, no recognition, make one mistake, easily fixable, never hear the end of it, run the office single-handedly, you don't do enough - pile more things on your plate, one day they love you and talk to you like you are friends (which secretly makes you laugh because it's so preposterous), the next day become cold and negative and disrespect you. It's so hard to work wondering what type of day your bosses (married to each other, which is not helpful at all) are going to have, because it totally affects your day. Listen to them scream back and forth across the office at each other, f**k this, f**k that, and on and on.
Ok, so I know I said I wouldn't go into it, and I did. I hope you get the picture. Anyway, long story short, I went home early on Friday. Tried to nap, watched some Greys on DVD and just hung out.
One exciting spot from this weekend - we stopped at the craft store and I bought all the things I needed to get started with knitting and began teaching myself on Sunday. I lost myself in it for about 3 hours. I like it so far, hopefully I can learn it pretty well and start making some stuff. I would love to knit some cute socks or scarfs and give them away as Christmas gifts. We will see, I don't know if that is too ambitious of a goal. Wish me luck though.
And, one more aside; as I mentioned I was awaiting a new cycle. I started it on Saturday. Whoop-ee.............I was pretty bummed (like always, I know). So it's looking like probably one more full cycle before I start on the BCP's for IVF#2. I am getting antsy, so ready to get started. I had a dream on Monday night about a baby - a little baby boy. I was breastfeeding him. Let's hope this is some kind of wonderful sign.
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