My boring life

This is the reason that I have not be writing much lately. There is just not much to say.

I am content.............for the most part...........with the passing of the days, but nothing too profund has been occurring so I haven't had an intense need to update.

But for those who care:

My lovely period is 11 days late at this point.
Have I been hopeful? A tiny bit.
Am I pregnant? A resounding no.

We went our for St. Patty's day this week. I started off the day w/my friend H and her bf K, and then got together w/A and our friend J (others showed up later). All in all it was a good day, baring the drama that occurred around 10, but we will let that slide.

Then yesterday I hung out w/J and H and had a couple drinks and J made me feel a little guilty for drinking when I was "not sure" as she put it.
(I was sure. I was pregnant last month, remember? I know what it feels like and the feelings I got going on are............nonexistant).

So I pulled out a test (my only one! a digital!) this morning and with FMU, I proceeded to pee.

*blink, blink, blink* goes the hour glass.
Then:
NOT PREGNANT pops up.
Lovely start to the morning.

Anyway!
I went to the GYN the other day for my annual. It was fine, pap was fine, went in for u/s because of pain issues.
Two things about the u/s. Results = mass on left ovary, likely a productive cyst, or an endometrioma. Whee! So I go back on the 5th to discuss that.
Second thing - went for u/s told to pay $375 because ins. wouldn't pay because I hadn't reached my deductible. Okay, wrote check, received receipt. Paid.
Ummmm. Or not. Got bill yesterday. U/S was actually $800, so we own around $425 still.
Awesome!
Hate medical fees!!!!!

One other titillating story before I head out again.....
My friend H yesterday. Sigh. She is w/this...wonderful (??? lol) boy (man? whatever) and he is a dad. He has two children by two different women. So, fertile, right?
They don't use condoms and she is "bad" about taking her bcp's she says.
So yesterday, she makes mention of the fact that she is glad AF is here because she "doesn't have that $750 to spend."

For an abort.ion.
Are you freakin' kidding me?!?
Sigh.
A)Like it is such a light matter that you joke about it!
B)You KNOW I lost a pregnancy last month. You KNOW we have been trying for over 3 years!
C)Are they really that cheap? I have to pay $800 just to get a look up my hoo!

With that.....I am off.
Oh, one more thing! We are spending some of our tax return (thanks, medical expenses!!) to take a week's trip to Mexico. Yay! So excited.

Please find me an RE to go to!
K, bye!

U/S today

So I went in today for an u/s to see how things are doing. It took a long time, about 45 min. I got there after having drank a glass of OJ, and 2 bottles of water, without having to pee. She even said my bladder wasn't that full. Stupid body. She was able to do the external u/s, had me go use the bathroom and then proceeded with the internal (hello, dildo cam!!). It hurt! I hate feeling this way. I am so ready for things to be over and back to normal.

Anyway about half way through she said my bladder was filling up again and asked me to go empty it. So I did. I get back to the room and there is another lady in there. They are talking about my scans. The tech gets me all set up again and the other tech comes in to have a look too. She said it looked like my ovaries were "hemorraghing". Umm, so not what you want to hear. So first thought in my mind.....my ovaries are bleeding? How will they stop that? What if they can't? Will I lose my ovaries? At 28!?

The other tech finishes up and leaves and the original tech finishes, stating that my ovaries are "really vascular". I talked to my mom after (who went home yesterday, so sad!) and she said that hopefully it just means that they are rich with blood from all the drugs last cycle and that they will be fine.

All I know is that I want the radiologist to read them and get the results over to my surgeon ASAP so I can know too. Pray that it's nothing and I just need more time to finish healing.

Also, got some paperwork from the embryologist and clinic yesterday. It looks like we have 2 frozen. But they are cleaved embryos (which if my reading is right means that they haven't made it to blast stage yet, which is crazy because they were frozen on day 6) so I don't know how hopeful to be. I read some statistics that said that frozen blasts have a 44% implantation rate and cleaved embryos have a 37% rate, so we will see when our time comes.

I just took some more painkillers so I am hoping to sleep a little bit and get rid of this pain. Life is so wonderful right now............................